The roads are like arteries and the lights from here…

The roads are like arteries, they give light, life like oxygenated blood to the land far below me. I’m so high I see the lights - where it touches, twinkling and alive, and the inky lake of water underneath me doesn’t twinkle, isn’t alive, doesn’t glitter, just shines back at me. There is nothing like being so many miles above it all that you just hover there. I mean outside of you. 

—-

I wake up with eyes not heavy

having clocked in a decent amount of 
wishing I was nonsense, wishing no real things,
just wishing
I’ve burned and breathed upon waking
filling my head all the way up to the
brim with it
“yes, we’re sinking”
but my god did I already see it coming
a one way path right towards me
the 7-10 split, meant to hit it
why do things when you know it will leave
a bad taste?

because you can get used to it
and it’s coming regardless 
why not expedite the process 

one step softer always
that’s what you said
one step self involved
but how else and what else
all else hurts, is
sin, is metal and ice and burns

—-

i am right there
still standing
survived the brunt of it
because i am, the fittest, the most safe,
the least learned, Darwin in his holiness
could not have seen you coming
like fumigating, like floor finish
you’ve choked me out - i am blue
does it go well with this dress
i am
not enough
for all of the sight of you
but here i am just limping
i’m finding myself slipping
bitter is better; bitter, better for you
that pale as death skin from
scalp to shoulder

so … soft
so sweet i think
if i could only scrape it with my teeth i think
maybe i’d scrape at you too